His greatest gifts

I think God's greatest gifts comes with his unanswered prayers. I prayed so hard, so steadfastly for a situation that He just knew I couldn't handle. I am so blessed to have been removed, albeit forcefully, from this. These past few days, I have felt so light and like I am seeing the world in color again.

I know there is love out there for me, but I believe this time that it will be the real thing. Who knows how long it will be before God thinks I'm ready for it to come along. I certainly do not believe it will be any time soon, but I know...someday, it will pop up where I least expect it.

I've been so focused on the past few months on the things I dislike about this world, I've decided to make a list of the things I like.

My family

My friends-the real ones

Diet Pepsi

A new book

An old book

Mike and Ikes

Old movies

People watching

Organizing

Cleanliness (something I am sad to say has been neglected as of late in my apt)

The unexpected

Prayer

God's love

Hugs

Late nights and early mornings

Procrastination

Disney World

Walt Disney

Dreaming

Planning

Love

Believing

Life

I had forgotten about the things I liked in this world...its nice to make a list and put things in perspective. I have a lot to look forward to in the next few months, putting my life back together could actually be fun.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love- 1 Cor 13:13

I won't be defeated.

Loss leaves us empty-but learn not to close your heart and mind in grief. Allow life to replenish you. When sorrow comes it seems impossible- but new joys wait to fill the void. -- Pam Brown

The past few days, it feels as though I have living someone else's life. The pain I am experiencing is excruciating. My heart feels like it has been ripped into a million little pieces. But I have to move forward. I cannot, and I will not let this keep me down. Sure, I will mope, I will be sad, I will be downtrodden...but I will not break...at least not anymore than I already have.

How do you move on? Any suggestions? How do you move past betrayal...especially by someone you loved so much for so long? How do you make it all stop...that's all I'm asking for...just a little relief.

Please don't feel bad for me. That's not what I'm asking for. Pray for me to be strong, for me to mend. Pray for a good night's sleep, for an hour of being truly okay. Pray that I let me family, who loves me so much, to take care of me.

Just pray.